Feeling sick in London

Well howdy team, long time no see. Today I bring you a video about a magical new app that you will need this winter, an app that lets you see a doctor within ten minutes from the comfort of your own bed. There are a few first for you in the video:

  1. First sober video (not even a sip of gin)
  2. First piercing in a decade!!!
  3. First Lush purchase

Enjoy xx

How to register with a doctor

London to do list street art

The dregs of summer are still holding on but don’t let it fool you; winter is coming. Black tights are back on trend, the tube is starting to smell of wet dog and ‘drinking to keep warm’ is soon to be the day drinking excuse of choice. Its not all bad, winter in London has a magic of its own. As a kiwi, December over here feels like a Richard Curtis film – drinking mulled wine in a Christmas Market by the Thames has the ability to stop time, all that is missing is a creepy as fuck Hugh Grant. But apart from the delightful few weeks of Christmas, winter in London can be long, dark and hard. #thatswhatshesaid

It seems to me that more people decide to move back to NZ during winter than any other time of the year. It gets to the point where you go to work in the dark, come home in the dark and you lose the will to live a little. With the cold, the rain and the fact that your family is on the other side of the world winter can be fucking hard, but it doesn’t have to be. Not if you do your #winterprep now.

Once it is the middle of November or January you will be too cold and seasonally depressed to do anything to kick yourself out of it, that’s why you are going to plan for it now. Right now, this week, go online and find all the fun things that are floating about this winter. It might be a play, a list of the best Christmas markets in London, where to drink mulled wine, a magical winter trip to Paris, ice skating in the moat of the Tower of London or re-enacting that scene from Bridget Jones (underwear and a Greek restaurant). Anything that you think could be fun and a little special.

It does not matter what your budget is, going off on a skiing holiday is not the only way to enjoy winter in Europe. The point is that you have planned it now, you have something to look forward to, and by the time it comes around on a cold Friday night and you are exhausted from work and your boots are soaked because of the rain you get up, go out and have fun anyway.

View over London from the Shard

I would set your expectations that ‘Winter crisis time’ will be November, January and February. December as I said above is magical enough and you only really have to worry about not embarrassing yourself at the work Christmas party. It is those other dark months that will hurt. I beg you, do your #winterprep now so that you have a smile on your face and I still have friends in London come Spring.

What are my plans I hear you ask? This year I want to go to all the London Christmas markets. I ditched them last year because I was all cynical and didn’t want to face the crowds, but this year I want the magic. I am also on the hunt for some exhibitions or plays (if you book early you can get tickets for as low as £12), and I really want to go to one of the Waitangi day services and have the girls over for Valentines day. Also I want to learn calligraphy. Random, but still something I am planning for.

Seriously team, doing your #winterprep now is key. It will mean the difference between hating the next few months and having enough bright spots to get you through. Book something, anything, today and tweet me using the hashtag #winterprep. If you don’t, I will know and I will be very disappointed.

Gin Gins candy

Click bait style title it may be, but it is also a 100% the truth. I am about to let you in on a secret so huge, so well kept, that I’m sure you haven’t heard it before. It is the secret to surviving panic attacks, getting over your fear of flying and to stopping yourself saying something stupid at work. I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to tell you to be honest, but fuck it. I have always told you guys everything, and this well kept secret is no different. I’m going to tell you about Gin-gins.

Let me stop you right there. I know you are thinking I am about to recommend being drunk 24/7. And come to think of it I do highly recommend that. No I’m talking about another kind of gin, gin as in ginger. Gin-gins are a candy I guess, the simple explanation is that they are a chewy stick of ginger flavouring – but holy shit they are so much more.

My mum recommended I try gin-gins when I’m flying. Not for any health benefits, but as a distraction technique. The ginger flavour is so Dwayne Johnson strong that no matter how bad the turbulence I can’t focus on anything apart from the ginger heat in my mouth. It’s like French kissing a dragon.

Gin-gins are not spicy, its just like some kid at school has decided to go with the niche bullying technique of shoving and entire root of ginger into your mouth and wont let you take it out until art history starts.

I normally pop one in my mouth just as the plane leaves the ground and whilst the plane is doing the ‘feels like it’s going to drop out of the sky and turn me into a statistic’ thing through the low clouds, I am happily trying to chew through a fire-demon from hell. Ok it’s not that hot, but it stops just before the “oh fuck I’ve got to get this out of my mouth” limit. Gin-gins have got me through every single flight this year with only a few tears (even the power of ginger couldn’t get rid of the tears completely).

At this point I could crap on a little longer telling you how it stops panic attacks and keeps you from putting your foot in your mouth, but it basically works the same way. Put a gin-gin in your mouth and you can’t think of anything else. Distraction is key, and a mouth full of ginger is the ultimate distraction.

More Dirty Passions London street art


Well, that was a short post. Us millennials don’t have time for a lot of ‘words’ or ‘thinking’ so you can stop reading now if you like. The short answer is that yes a dream job can still be a pain in the arse. If however you are stuck between tube stops or are trying to avoid conversation with someone at a party, then read on for the full explanation.

I have my dream job. I play with spreadsheets all day and fly around the world talking process and strategy. I know, it sounds weird. I still can’t quite believe it myself that I am a jet-setting business analyst. It took a long time (and some fairly lengthy negotiations) for me to get this job, and even longer for me to even figure out that it was the job I wanted. But here is the question we are pondering today, once you have finally found your dream job is it still allowed to be a pain in the arse?

The rhetoric of our time aka trending articles on Facebook suggests that having your dream job means the Sunday dreads go away and every day you spring out of bed with excitement. You dream job solves all your problems, it makes you into one of those smiling Instagram people who are so high on life that they crap motivational quotes. Oh and the dream job is always that of a digital nomad or creative influencer.


Must be in a creative field? Nope. Careers in 2016 are more fickle than they were for our parents; we change jobs with the seasons and company loyalty is less important than feeling fulfilled. But this does not mean that the type of role that can be a ‘dream job’ is limited in the slightest. Every single one of us have strengths and weaknesses (read: me with my love for Excel and hatred for following rules)  AND more importantly we each have environments that we thrive in. Me for instance, I do really well in a small to medium company with a flat hierarchy where you get exposed to a whole lot of different areas. Put me in a traditional corporate and I turn into a bitchy, hateful, rage-monster. This means that to get your dream job you not only have to be doing the ‘stuff’ that appeals to you, but be doing that stuff in a company where you can thrive. What works for me will not work for you, unless you were the unfortunate clone that my parents kept in the attic. In which case tweet me @runawaykiwi, we haven’t caught up in ages.

Even if you are in a creative field, graphic designers get pissed off too you know. Its just that they show it with passive aggressive kerning.

Love every single second? Double nope. With my travel schedule I am on the road for at least half the month (hence why my blog schedule gets a little messed up with the time zones) and that is damn hard. Really hard. Like harder than Khal Drogo’s abs. I thrive on having a consistent schedule and being told on Friday that I need to be in America on Monday messes with my head. Oh and remember all the posts about me hating flying? I am now of the most extreme exposure therapy ever, I’m averaging about 6 flights a month with half of them being long haul – so basically I am being forced to deal. I need to do a longer post on work travel at some point, because I know that it sounds like the dream but fuck me it is hard like lego.

Dispense the good London street art

The job is also stupidly long hours and very stressful. Annoyingly this is actually something that makes it my dream job. I want to be able to make decisions, and with great power comes great responsibility. The midnight conference calls and the freaking out about presentations are just what I have to put up with to be able to have a job that is fulfilling and where I feel that I can kick ass.

Oh and that bounding out of bed with a smile that could kill a dentist thing? I am not a morning person and no matter what time zone I am in it is painful to wake up in the morning.

The dream job is not a panacea to give you a perfect life. But it does leave your brain feeling like its had a workout and make you feel like you are making progress – I’m not sure what the progress is towards, but its almost like the feeling of climbing a massive staircase with something cool at the top. You are the most important consideration in your career, there are so many components to a job that will impact on how happy you are. Finding a role & a company that work for you can be harder than finding a boyfriend who takes good Instagram photos, but when you hit the sweet spot you will find yourself writing blog posts about your dream job. But that doesn’t mean you can’t hate your alarm clock and commiserate with friends over gin when it all feels a little too much.