Make London less boring

London Bridge Expat Problems

I have written before about some of the unique challenges of London, perhaps most importantly how I want to stab people every time they say ‘tired of London, tired of life’. Well good old fuckety fuck now with no added sugar, I’m bored of London. We had summer for a week, and now the weather is so unpredictable that my hair is being used as a weather broadcaster by the BBC. Seriously it’s no laughing matter, my hair got so big today that it filled my office and suffocated three people.

So when your hair is big, it’s raining outside, you are broke and life is as boring as that three hour Russian movie filmed in a continuous shot with no talking there is only one thing to do… Make life less boring.

Go to an art gallery and stare intently at a fire extinguisher, then when someone comes and stands next to you say “this art really speaks to me on an emotional level”. Or if you are more into street art find an unattended bus shelter and stand there wearing a suit. Then when the public approaches shoo them away and say they must keep at least one meter away from the art.

Wait that bus thing is outside, not good for the hair issues.

Oh ok how about this. Choose some friends who have been really annoying you lately (we all have them shutupyourjudgingfaceyousilly) and then spend a day (INSIDE) on the internet finding their old MySpace profiles. Then slowly over a matter of weeks release one embarrassing teenage screenshot of a MySpace post to them at a time, don’t stop until they meet your demands. Oh shit I should have said that when you are choosing your friend you need to pick demands from them. Using these tactics I currently have JT doing my laundry, Emma brings me gin on demand and Kelly takes me with her whenever she goes on holiday. Thanks MySpace.
Inconvenience Bingo
For this next boredom buster you need some friends and an Oyster card; it’s time to play inconvenience bingo! Split into two teams and decide on a destination (preferably a pub on the other side of the river because booze=yay). You then have to get there while ticking off as many squares on the card as possible. The team with the most squares wins.

Going up an escalator
And while we are on London public transport based team sports, ‘Don’t Bank On It’ is a firm favourite with all the kids. Each competitor starts at a different Bank Station entrance, then the challenge is on to take a selfie on the platform of each line that goes through the station. First person with all the pictures and back above ground wins.

Or the ultimate London boredom buster: dog on the tube.

 

This post is part of the Groupon #MakeLifeLessBoring campaign

groupon-life-less

Buzzoole

7 Comments

  1. August 2, 2015 / 6:45 pm

    Loved this article. I’ve only been in London for a week and can already cross of most of these on Tube Bingo. My shoes are not my friend this week, especially.

    B.

  2. August 3, 2015 / 11:56 am

    In summer you should be able to get armpit shields for public transportation, our town is small but not like five people small and they have these little busses so they are jam packed and all smelly ughhhh

  3. Anna
    November 8, 2015 / 10:29 am

    Spent a year in London and it quickly gets boring.

    The problem with London is that it tries too hard, it’s constantly telling itself and other people how cool it is and how when a man is tired of London he’s tired of life.

    The reality is London might be amazing for some 20 year old American whose never been out of suburbia and who for the first time is exposed to a massive busy city. But for me who has traveled the world, lived in different countries and met people of many different nationalities London feels plastic, overrated, pretentious!!!

    Compare London to cities its size (Mexico City, Buenos aires, Rio, New York, Bangkok, Seoul) and you QUICKLY find that London for its size is rather sleepy and nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to nightlife.

    Yes, the museums are free and yes there is a lot of people from everywhere, but most keep to themselves and self-segregate, the clubs are mostly cliche-cocktail bars or predictable places packed with urban tribes and if they don’t know you, then you’re not welcome.

    I remember being in Bangkok and thinking, OMG this place is magnetic…. 3am and I am here dancing with people of all ages, partying and just having fun next to this night market.

    In London at 3am most are afraid of getting stabbed by some aggressive drunk, most are trying to get home because most shops, tube and buses are closed for the night and the dreadful weather just makes u wanna stay inside.

    LONDON IS OVERRATED!

  4. Su
    November 26, 2015 / 6:25 pm

    Anna, thank you, well said.