I have discovered the solution to all your problems

Gin Gins candy

Click bait style title it may be, but it is also a 100% the truth. I am about to let you in on a secret so huge, so well kept, that I’m sure you haven’t heard it before. It is the secret to surviving panic attacks, getting over your fear of flying and to stopping yourself saying something stupid at work. I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to tell you to be honest, but fuck it. I have always told you guys everything, and this well kept secret is no different. I’m going to tell you about Gin-gins.

Let me stop you right there. I know you are thinking I am about to recommend being drunk 24/7. And come to think of it I do highly recommend that. No I’m talking about another kind of gin, gin as in ginger. Gin-gins are a candy I guess, the simple explanation is that they are a chewy stick of ginger flavouring – but holy shit they are so much more.

My mum recommended I try gin-gins when I’m flying. Not for any health benefits, but as a distraction technique. The ginger flavour is so Dwayne Johnson strong that no matter how bad the turbulence I can’t focus on anything apart from the ginger heat in my mouth. It’s like French kissing a dragon.

Gin-gins are not spicy, its just like some kid at school has decided to go with the niche bullying technique of shoving and entire root of ginger into your mouth and wont let you take it out until art history starts.

I normally pop one in my mouth just as the plane leaves the ground and whilst the plane is doing the ‘feels like it’s going to drop out of the sky and turn me into a statistic’ thing through the low clouds, I am happily trying to chew through a fire-demon from hell. Ok it’s not that hot, but it stops just before the “oh fuck I’ve got to get this out of my mouth” limit. Gin-gins have got me through every single flight this year with only a few tears (even the power of ginger couldn’t get rid of the tears completely).

At this point I could crap on a little longer telling you how it stops panic attacks and keeps you from putting your foot in your mouth, but it basically works the same way. Put a gin-gin in your mouth and you can’t think of anything else. Distraction is key, and a mouth full of ginger is the ultimate distraction.

2 Comments

  1. October 1, 2016 / 1:23 pm

    Excellent tip! Where does one get these gin-gin things?

    Thanks,
    Brian.

    • October 7, 2016 / 7:36 am

      Holland and Barrett