Ben Eine Letter Street Art London

Given how depressing the news is this week (thanks for double fisting politics this week UK and USA) I thought I would write a post that gives you a giggle and answer those burning Runawaykiwi questions that you apparently have.

Because of the stalking magic of Google I can see the search terms people used to find my blog. Often those search terms are actually questions and I want to be sure people who find my blog are getting the exact resources they need. Without further ado here are the genuine questions that people found my blog using…and my answers to them. Please note: any spelling errors in the questions are the questioners (I have just copied and pasted)…any spelling errors in the rest of the blog are totally mine and I can only apologise to my old English teacher. In my defence, my English teacher once announced to the entire class that she wanted to “take off her shoes and run through my hair” so I think we are even.


does kiwi go with gin and tonic

If you are talking about the fruit then no, it’s too acidic. If you are talking the bird then yes, the beak makes a great swizzle stick.

where male large butt plug for sell?

I’m no expert in this, but I know how hard it is when you move to a new city and don’t know what shops to go to for things; I experienced a similar problem when I tried to find a shoe rack. My advice is to ask your friends and family for any recommendations, and if they are no help then try asking on social media. If all else fails you are now living in the UK where the ‘make do and mend’ attitude is still going strong, check out the fruit and vegetable aisle in Tesco and see if there is a new potato in a suitable size.

青果市場 コヴェントガーデン

Google translate tells me this is either a hipster tattoo or a request for a fruit and vegetable market in Covent Garden. My advice is that the best market for the full tourist experience is Borough Market, where some of the original cockney vege sellers are still going strong.

why is working in london exhausting

I have a full post on this one so I won’t go into detail; essentially it’s because there is a lot of people, you are away from home and also because you stay up past your bedtime every night. Full post (and virtual internet hugs) can be found here.

first fuck londn?

Is this a question or a statement? If you are looking for your first London fuck then I would try Tinder and low standards.

what free things a kiwi must do in london

Checking out all the markets (Maltby, Broadway, Borough) are a must, even if you can’t buy anything the atmosphere is very cool. Museum row with the Science Museum, V&A and Natural History Museum is a great place to while away a rainy afternoon (although you may have to punch a few children out of the way). And my biggest thing to do in London for free is walking, this city is damn beautiful and you can see all the major tourist attractions in one go.

mouse jumping or mouse running

Preferably no mouse, but I think if I had to I would go mouse running because the thought of one jumping into my hair scares the bejesus out of me.

sean connery cock nice??.

Look it was one night and we were both quite drunk, besides a girl never kisses and tells.

where is the change your life picture in london

It’s a piece of the Berlin Wall and it lives outside the Imperial War Museum (which is well worth a visit, very cool).

im scared donut syringe?

Don’t be scared of a doughnut syringe, they are the fastest and most painless way of getting caramel sauce inside a doughnut.

is london underground poster the swiftest way to pleasure

I don’t know about you, but a London Underground poster really gets me going. I mean the London Transport museum is essentially a living 50 Shades of Grey. So yes, this Valentine’s day get your significant other a print of an Underground poster as it really is the swiftest way to pleasure.

how to survive runaway kiwi

Is this written by my ex-boyfriend? If so, just fill me with gin and give me a kitten.

can i eat ham thats brown around the edges

Give it the smell test, and then try feeding it to a friend and waiting for a few hours. If it smells ok and your friend is still alive then go for gold.

can you walk with but plug all day?

Again with the butt plugs, so many people must be disappointed to discover this slightly ranty expat blog when all they want is quality sex toy information. Literally the only time I have written about butt plugs they were made of chocolate, which I don’t think are practical for all day use.

Blog Addicts Anonymous

I’m Rebecca, and I’m a blog addict.

I’m guilty of stalking cool kids off the internet and bribing them with coffee, gin or blackmail until they agree to be my friend.

I’m guilty of holding the phrase ‘I’m a blogger’ close to my heart, because it makes me so happy and tingle with pride.

I’m guilty of ordering something I don’t feel like at brunch just because it will look better on Instagram,

I’m guilty of feeling guilty when I don’t post regularly.

I’m guilty of using my blog as a therapy session; screaming at the internet sure does help to process emotions.

I’m guilty of threatening to murder people when they are mean to my blogging friends (or non-blogging friends to be honest).

I’m guilty of using gin to overcome the tyranny of the blank page.

I’m guilty of going to countless SEO talks and still not have a fucking clue about it.

I’m guilty of crying over the beautiful comments people leave.

I’m guilty of saying no to going out just because I have posts to write.

I’m guilty of loving this damn hobby way too much.

I am in a blogging rut. I have written up my New Zealand trip and loved walking through the memories, but now I can’t quite remember what to do. How does this London blogging thing work again? I have a list of posts to write but I need some sparkle, some inspiration…or maybe just some caffeine.

My blog has evolved hugely in the last couple of years. For the three of you (I must buy you a drink some time) who have been reading from the beginning you will have seen it change from a blog that was updated every day with  sentence or two, to this behemoth where most posts are over 600 words and are normally totes emosh or awkward stories.

By god I enjoy my blog now more than I ever have. I LOVE storytelling. At school I had to bribe myself with candy to write 100 words, and now I happily pour my heart into my laptop at every opportunity.

Anyway I digress, inspiration. I feel like I am at a crossroads with my life at the moment (is there such a thing as a 26 year old mid-life crisis?) and since Runawaykiwi is just a reflection of my state of mind it is all of a sudden hard to pick a direction to write in.

So what is the plan? I’m going to go back to basics for a while, I have some amazing coffee and brunch spots that I want to tell you about while I try to sort my creative brain out. And I’m heading off to The Hive this weekend which will hopefully glitter bomb the parts of me that are crying out for creative inspiration.


Oh and I’m also going to try and figure out just what the hell chia seeds are…


Where do you look for inspiration?

I wasn’t going to write about this, I really wasn’t. But yesterday at a blogging event the PR used me as an example of a bad blogging relationship. They kept it anonymous and did not mention me by name but the blogging community in London is tiny so I heard about it from three different people. I am going to extend them the same courtesy and not name names, but again the blogging community is small so I think many of you will know who. As I said I was never going to write about this, but since they raised it in a public forum I feel like I need a right of reply, I need to tell my side of the story.

I have worked with PR companies pretty much since I started this little blog of mine. In London PRs run great events where you can meet other bloggers, give you a heads up on new cafes/exhibitions and can be an amazing way to be introduced to brands that really mesh with your blog. They are great to work with and in three years I’ve only had good experiences. After years of fun I’m not going to let this one little upsetting moment sour an otherwise pretty damn cool blogging journey.

So what happened? Last year I was invited to a drinks evening by a travel company, it was good fun and as well as hearing about their social strategy and meeting some other bloggers they also said they wanted to be pitched to. This company wanted to work with authentic, quirky and unique bloggers and were just waiting to hear our good ideas.

I got inspired. I don’t normally even think about pitching because I blog for the love of it not to turn it into a career. But I figured it was something different so why not. I spent a Sunday afternoon putting together a pretty insane ‘pick a path’ pitch on my blog and then sent it to the PR.

I got really good feedback from the pitch and I met with both the PR and the travel company for a coffee, where they said they wanted to work with me and send me on a trip. Very exciting times. I secured other partners for the trip (the travel company was only going to pay for certain aspects) and started the quite painful journey of trying to confirm all the details. I didn’t mind putting the time into this (seriously, over 80 emails back and forth just trying to book everything) because it was an awesome opportunity not only to see and experience a new country but also to work with a couple of really big brands.

So the day that the go button was going to be pushed and everything booked I got a call from the PR saying that the trip was off because I had written something controversial on my blog. Now given that I had recently written a blog post about chocolate butt plugs I thought that might be the controversial aspect. But no, the post they found offensive was this one, the 17 most overused phrases in blog land.

To be specific the aspect they had an issue with was point 6 where I poked fun at bloggers who received something for free then claimed to have an un-biased opinion by writing the phrase ‘all opinions are my own’. In the PR company’s words they could not work with someone who had publically admitted that their opinion was biased by getting something for free.

My point by writing that was that ‘all opinions are my own’ is an overused phrase and that bloggers need to be honest in their reviews (remembering that they are recommending this to people who will have to pay with their hard earned cash).

I personally think the more controversial part of that post is that I couldn’t figure out which whether/weather/wether to use…

Now as I said I was not going to write about this. After all this is a business relationship and to be honest the PR/travel company can make whatever decisions they like. It is entirely their prerogative to stop working with a blogger if they disagree with something they write. I just shrugged and moved on.

But when they raised it as an example in a blogging conference it really really upset me. Firstly because alluding to someone when it is likely they will be in attendance is bad form, and secondly because of a question someone asked. When the PR said they had dropped me because of something I had written a member of the audience asked “was it because they wrote something politically insensitive” and the PR said yes*. It is abhorrent to me that a professional trusted voice is standing in a room of my peers saying that I have written something offensive about anyone’s race, class or gender…the commonly accepted definition of politically insensitive.

What was extremely frustrating about being dropped was that this was a company looking for ‘authentic, quirky & unique’ bloggers. I have written a couple of posts about my opinions on the blogging world and one of the things I think my reader’s value about me is my honesty (and pictures of cats riding unicorns of course!). I’m happy to poke fun at the blogging world and laugh at it while still being part of it and I would have expected a PR company to research my tone of voice before working with me.

I am a hobby blogger. I blog for the love of it, for the community and the adventures along the way. I am never going to censor myself, and I really don’t think I write anything so controversial that it would require self-censorship anyway. I write this as my right of reply to a publicly made statement about me, and I also hope that it helps any other hobby bloggers out there – relationships with PRs can be fun, friendly and beneficial for all, but they can also be a murky water that needs a bit of respect on both sides.

Good luck kids,




*I heard this through other people who were in the room at the time