This is all going to get a little deep and wistful, apologies in advance. I’m feeling a bit melancholic at the moment, hence the lack of blog posts recently, I just feel like I have lost direction and don’t really know how to get my mojo back.
This time last year I was unhappy for a totally different reason, I hated my job and it was my first Christmas away from home. This year I freakin love my job, and as far as I am concerned I did Christmas in November. It’s more of a lack of motivation, direction and something to aim for. 2013 was the year of the blog, it was beyond exciting thanks to you lovely readers and it was without doubt a challenge. But now I feel like it ticks along quite nicely, more of a comfort blanket rather than a new mountain to climb. I still get so much pleasure from it, and it gives me some fairly mega opportunities (hello Brussels in January!) so it’s hardly something I would ever consider giving up.
Given that why do I feel like I have hit a bit of a blue spot? I think, believe it or not, that I need the challenge. I have never thought my self to be particularly driven, but hey oh turns out I am. But what is challenge? I have looked into short courses, but they are hella expensive in London. I have thought about doing a couple more jewellery designs, but that is more of the same when you think about it. Someone on Facebook suggested a marathon, and well, um… no.
Of course I turned to the internet for suggestions. But most people who seem to feel the same way are talking about career change, getting out of a relationship or moving country. Well, my job rocks, I’m not in a relationship and I’ve already moved countries so the internet was fairly useless.
So because I’m out of solutions I am doing what I can. That involves tidying my room, going out for a lavish afternoon tea, and of course availing myself of the baking float. Have I told you about the baking float?
Last Christmas I got the most amazing surprise from my parents, some money set aside specifically for baking. Baking brings me a huge amount of pleasure, but let’s be honest it’s quite expensive. Particularly when living by yourself baking an entire cake or batch of biscuits is frankly ridiculous, but the baking float gave me the space to bake my heart out with a smile on my face the entire time. And the best part is that my parents re-invested this Christmas.
What is a runawaykiwi to do? I have a fun few days of work lined up, a very decadent Christmas Day on the horizon, Panettone in the oven, and paintbrushes all over the table. I am happy, but something is missing.