1. Having our traditional Christmas morning breakfast before attempting the 15 courses may not have been the smartest thing we have ever done. Although when offered home made panettone with roasted nectarines, mascarpone and a side of champagne you can’t really say no.
2. Getting drunk-spired (drunk + inspired = drunk-spired) on Christmas Eve is ideal because it results in 3D hexagonal menus that double as flower holders. And I got a gold star for managing to use a craft knife when drunk and still having 10 fingers to open presents on Christmas morning.
3. When you get totes emosh on Christmas morning because its the first family Christmas with all the kids at home in three years and spill your aforementioned champagne over a cat your family will give you a hug and top up your glass.
4. Table styling is all important. If you don’t know what you are doing just keep putting things on until you see the Pinterest logo appear in the top right hand corner.
5. Apparently I live in a family where if you wish out loud that you had mini-blackboards as place mats, your father will appear round the corner holding some and asking ‘will these do’. Oh and having a graphic designer in the family makes for some AMAZING lettering. Double oh, you are apparently from a family with ready access to mini-tankards, ER and pirate glasses and of course crystal shot glasses.
6. Your father will never quite forgive you for pretending to give him an iPad and then actually giving him a Bazinga t-shirt… sorry Dad.
7. When you plan to have all four members of the family in the kitchen cooking this will actually turn out to be two members of the family in the kitchen cooking, one taking selfies and the last using a power saw.
8. After course 4 you will start singing power ballads. And after course 10 you will need a nap. Don’t fight it.
9. Your family will catch the blogging bug and every course will start with a mini photo shoot.
10. Runawaykiwi will get grumpy when no-one wakes up from their naps on time.
11. You will have forgotten about three things (in our case cooking the sweet potato, putting avocado on the Pirate salad and to take the sorbet out of the freezer) THIS IS OK. Your guests will be already overwhelmed with champagne, food and selfies and will not notice.
12. Cats and fine dining do not mix.
13. It is harder to keep your bright red lipstick perfect during the meal then it is to cook the 15 courses in the first place.
14. 15 courses is too many. Trust me when I say to stop at 14.
15. There is nothing in the world that could be a better Christmas than hanging out with my family, cooking and laughing the day away.