Well, first up kid you are not failing. Stand on a table and scream out loud “I AM FUCKING AWESOME” because its true.
You have made a big scary step and its ok to feel totally lost in your first few weeks. Don’t believe me? Imagine that your best friend has just broken up with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend. In that first week post breakup what emotions would you expect from them? Hopelessness, sparks of joy and feeling like taking a step outside the door is just too much? Exactly, because that is what you feel when you make a big life change. So why are you currently beating yourself up for having the same sort of feelings after moving to the other side of the world? Its a big change hun, a big big change.
Oh it’s because everyone else is killing it like a boss? *Runawaykiwi falls off chair laughing*
The internet is a lie, in fact most of the time its utter bollocks. The image that you are projecting on Instagram and Facebook right now probably appears like you hit the ground running to everyone else too. We are all guilty of posting the happy selfie in front of Big Ben/St Pauls/Shoreditch graffiti while at the same time containing the whirlpool of panic about finding a flat and a job and friends and bread you like and true love and happiness and oh god what have I done?
Almost every other time you have made a big change in the last few years it has been one thing to focus on at a time. I mean you wouldn’t have been crazy enough to change jobs, flats and friends all at the same time right? It is no wonder you are feeling adrift, feeling like you have lost your foundation.
Every single kiwi who moved to the other side of the world has felt like this, EVERYONE. The reason you think they all skipped straight into a new life is because you are believing the internet white lies. And to be totally honest once you have been here for a year or so you forget. You forget the panic, the doubt, the loneliness. Your life has moved on, you have made those elusive London friends and you will be proud of this scary step you made. So when your friends back home ask about moving over you will say “it was easy”.
Right now what you need is a hug and a stern talking to. But since you might not know anyone well enough for that sort of personal touching you have a few options:
- Buy a puffer jacket and belt it up super tight to take care of the hugging part
- Stand on the wrong side of the underground escalator so that someone gives you a talking to
- Cut yourself some slack.
Feeling overwhelmed by not knowing where to live, having no job and at the same time not seeing everything London has to offer is not failing. Close the curtains on the sunshine, cuddle up with a movie and take some deep belly breaths. It will get better. You will forget how strongly you felt. You will look back and want to throw a party for the brave person who took that scary first step. Fate loves the fearless.