Ok family don’t freak out.

Maria Tash at Liberty piercing

From: Rebecca
To: Family
Date: 23/10/16

Ok family don’t freak out.

Most importantly I am completely safe and you don’t need to worry. I have some news, and I know I should have got a permission slip signed by each of you first prior to action. In my defence, since I’m back in London the time zone makes it rather hard to get parental (or sisteral, or brother-in-lawal) consent at midday on a Sunday.

And thankfully since I managed to convince them I was 28 they didn’t actually ask for my Dad to be present.

Ok team, sit down, take a deep breath and have a sweet cup of tea ready.

I got my ear pierced.



Yes I look like a punk*, but I don’t think it will impact on my future love or career prospects. It is a rose gold hoop on the top bit of my right ear. I don’t have a photo for you because ears are stunningly hard to photograph. Also I am concerned I look slightly like a pirate; I am currently avoiding being in photos with parrots or rum just in case.

I knew you would be worried about me getting it pierced somewhere safe and clean, so I went to the poshest place I could find – Liberty. Yes that Liberty. I went in for a pink lemonade to celebrate being home from China (and doing a 12hour flights with no drugs and no freak outs!) and came out with an extra hole in my body. At least I am a classy hooligan?

I completely understand if you no longer want to be my whanau. But please try to understand that this was not an act of rebellion and I think our family friends will still talk to me, this piercing is not a reflection of bad parenting or sistering or brother-in-lawing. I wanted it because all the cool kids have them. And rose gold is really pretty. And how fucking awesome is it to have got a piercing in Liberty.

I do hope that you agree to continue our relationship irregardless of this act of self mutilation I have undertaken today.

Yours sincerely,
Rebecca ‘please don’t disown me’ Kiwi.

*I look nothing like a punk, saying that is an insult to punks. At best I look slightly more like a middle class hipster than I normally do.


From: Sister
To: Rebecca
Date: 24/10/16

My top 5 things that crossed my mind before you said piercing…

1. You are also pregnant
2. You got married
3. You invested in a coffee startup
4. You burned your passport and are never coming home
5. You spent all your money on coffee and we don’t get Christmas presents.

So based on the above, the rose gold piercing from Liberty sounds wonderful!

Author: runawaykiwi

4 thoughts on “Ok family don’t freak out.

  1. This is so funny! I’ve been wanting to get my ear pierced at the top for so long and I’m in London this Sunday…I’M SO TEMPTED! How much was it?

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