4   86
2   81
5   123
3   51
4   131
5   53
0   38
7   85
11   48
2   58

How to efficiently and effectively dry your hands with paper towels

This blog post has been a long time coming. While some bloggers are writing outfit of the day posts, or getting trips to far flung destinations, I know what you are all truly after. As I have been watching people in bathrooms for the last few years (we all do this right? Totally normal behaviour) I have noticed that most of you don’t have a clue about the best way to dry your hands when the method available is paper towels.

There are many approaches, and almost all of you choose the wrong one, these include:

  • Grabbing one paper towel and then being surprised that your hands are still moist enough to require a thigh wipe as you exit the bathroom
  • Grabbing two paper towels and still being surprised that their combined power leaves your hands moist enough to require a thigh wipe as you exit the bathroom
  • Grabbing an abundance (estimated to be between 3 and 6) of paper towels and leaving the bathroom with completely dry hands but with the psychological torture of knowing David Attenborough would be disappointed in you for destroying the planet.

You. Are. All. Wrong.

I now present to you the correct method for drying your hands when the drying method available is paper towels. I have come to this conclusion after many years of scientific research (NB: if anyone wants to fund future research I have some GREAT ideas), and to be honest I am awaiting my Nobel Prize nod.

Step 1: Take one paper towel and use this to get the majority of the water off your hands. It is important to note that the purpose of this step is not to dry your hands, but to remove as much water as possible. The paper towel at the end of this step should be sodden.

Step 2: Take a second paper towel and use this to take the remaining moisture off your hands. This is the finishing step, and should leave your hands completely, and delightfully, dry.

And there you have it. Your hands are completely dry, your thighs unmolested, and David is happy because you avoided unnecessary planet destroying paper wastage.

Happy days.



  1. May 28, 2018 / 7:54 pm

    Thank-you so much for tackling this hard-hitting subject, it’s incredibly brave of you to do so but this conversation needs to happen.

    PS) I feel like every business should have a dyson handier available because those things are the sheeeeeet.

  2. June 11, 2018 / 9:50 pm

    Damn, is it too late to nominate this post for some kind of award?